Not Forgotten
by The Shadows Hide All
Summary: Innocence is overrated. You are about to see the real Yukina, after she married. Warnings: cutting, suicide. One-sided Yukina?


Title: Not Forgotten

Rating: Pg-13

Summary: Innocence is overrated. You are about to see the _real _Yukina, after she married. Warnings: cutting, suicide. One-sided Yukina?

Okay, everyone. Please, PLEASE no flames, though it sucks. Those are used to light my used matches, okay?

Disclaimer: You know what I'm going to say, so I just won't bother.

ONWITHTHEONESHOT

"Yukina-chan...doshita?" Kuwabara was the first to ask, Yukina remembered.

"Anou...Nothing," she had replied, smiling at her husband in that oh-so-innocent way she was known for. But when he turned away, she lost that smile and looked into the distance.

_She wipes the tear from her brow  
She's been cryin again  
She's been walking into walls again  
Behind her quivering smile, there's a secret  
That goes deeper than the cuts she hides  
_

Every night, the memories returned. They haunted her, forever mocking her. They twisted around her, closing in upon her like a demon's prey. Memories of her past, of her not-so-forgotten life.

And every night, she would bring out her razor and cut. She would remember his face. _Cut_. She would remember the way he looked at her. _Cut._ She would remember the way he smiled for her, and only her. _Cut._ She remembered how she fell in love with him... _Cut._ She remembered how he died. _Cut._

_Her head's spinning around  
He bet her soul to the ground  
A grown woman in pain  
And all she longs to be, is that little girl, again _

She screams inside, and all she wants to be  
All she wants to be, is yesterdays child  
She wants to hide, and all she wants to be  
All she wants to be, is yesterdays child

She now had a fascination with blood. Every wound inflicted upon her, she gazed at it until the blood clotted. She even licked the wound just to feel that cold, metallic taste that left her craving more. As a grown woman, she knew she should know better than to do this. To hide. Just thinking about that made her cut deeper.

_Curled up shivering alone, she's been hurt again  
__She's been walking into walls again  
Her children keep her alive  
They're her sanity, but they're the reason why she has to stay  
A grown woman in pain and all she longs to be is that little girl, again_

One day, she got an idea. She would leave this world, let her beautiful ruby red blood free. Kuwabara and the children could get over her, even have a new mother. And Genkai could heal the broken Tentei, if ever need be. She started to write a poem...and a letter that she would burn. So he could get it, lest she not go to Heaven.

So she took a knife this time, and, with a shaky breath, swept it across her vein.

The poem and letter lay on the floor:

_Guess who's back again?_

_This little girl you thought forgot_

_Her voice cries louder, not as soft_

_She's back, and she's crying, leave her to rot_

_She has this razor, all bundled up in cloth_

_Hides it 'till she needs it_

_When she does, she drags out that old razor_

_And brings the razor close to the skin_

_Her steady hand is a learned skill_

_And she drags the blade across her hip_

_She scars the already marred flesh_

_Again and again and again_

_Red beads of blood drip down to the Earth_

_She can't just stop at one_

_She's become too addicted_

_Every once in a while _

_She finds one more reason to inflict_

_These wounds upon her stained skin_

_She likes the pain, her teeth are grit_

_This time, she won't scream_

_No, this time she won't tell_

_So, guess who's back?_

_The girl that you left standing_

_Thought she forgot_

_But she didn't._

The letter:

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm so weak...but...I seem to have fallen in love with you. Oh, hell, I've always loved you. Took me this long to realize it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before you died...not that it would've mattered anyway. It would sicken you._

_I started falling even before I knew...Yes, I knew. You tried so hard to keep it from me, I respected that and fell silent. Guess now you know, ne? ...Have fun in heaven if I'm not there._

_Aishiteru... aniki._

THEEND

Okay...I know that sucked. Don't remind me. Just bored is all...


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